Imaginal Self

The Villain in Your Story is a Victim in Theirs

There’s a powerful tool called “The Drama Triangle,” onto which people subconsciously LOVE to dance around.

It is compromised of the archetypes of Villain, Victim, and Hero.

Whenever we get into conflict with another person we immediately place the people involved in one of these three archetypes.

The other month, a friend and I were in conflict with each other choosing to steep in righteous silent anger instead of finding common ground.

After getting some space and working with the tool of the Drama Triangle I was able to see why I was so triggered. I realized I was angry because she was making herself the victim while making me the villain in her mind and avoiding confrontation. So I had started to villainize her for villainizing me. This, of coarse, only continued the drama triangle.

Avoiding someone and making them the villain is only going to make another person more angry. And now their anger gives you more justification for your beliefs that they are a villain to be scared of. Funny how we create our own self fulfilling prophecies.

Oh how the cycle continues and escalates until people choose to wake up to this dynamic and step out of the participation in drama.

What this would look like is being committed to not boxing someone into the one dimensional villain archetype and instead hearing out their perspective.

It looks like stopping yourself from playing the victim and instead begin taking responsibility for your contribution to the dynamic.

It looks like not waiting for a hero to come save you (aka enable this dynamic to continue), but rather get empowered to take charge of your own needs and conscious communication.

If you need a mediator, reach out to me or another professional and break the cycle.