Imaginal Self

Your Ex is a Blessing

“We’re all just walking each other home.”

This bittersweet quote by Ram Das is full of profound wisdom.  Consider looking your relationships in this way.

Some people walk with you for a while, some stay until the end, while others quickly hop in and hop out, never to be seen again.

Anyone else feel inadequate when comparing their life to the glorified romantic story of “The Notebook?” Where the couple who has loved each-other for 50+ years dies in one other’s arms. I think many of us have been messed up with the fairytale programs glorifying “Happily Ever After.”

This “till death do us part” image is placed on a pedestal that many people fall off of with a slap of harsh reality and disillusionment.

So, I have chosen to adopted a new perspective on partnership which has shifted me from feelings of failure to feelings of gratitude.

Ram Das’s quote helps take the pressure off a bit for me. All the people in our life are choosing to walk part of the way with us and each one (no matter how long or short) adds depth to our journey. How sweet it is to share the walk with another, to share food, our bodies, laugher, wisdom, and to challenge one another along the way.

Not everyone is meant to go all the way until the end with us. We can choose to see those temporary encounters as lessons given to us at the perfect time. (This is a choice in attitude, not a fact.)

Some are sweet gentle lessons, while others challenge us to the core. The ones that compress us are the gems that we can use as a catalyst for our evolution and transformation. The painful ones are the ones that help illuminate the particular patterns that need our attention.

Rather than continue to let yourself feel shitty for failed circumstances, I encourage you to try on the perspective of gratitude. I know it is not easy (especially if you have truly been victimized) yet it is so worth it.

You will no longer move through life as a victim to circumstances at the whim of the next thunderstorm. Rather, you will become an active alchemist that transmutes whatever comes your way into power and wisdom.

So my friend, use those painful lessons to catalyze you to the next level of your evolution.





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