Imaginal Self

Love

Indecision is Causing You Suffering (video)

If you have ever been faced with a decision, you know the vast amount of time and energy that gets spent sitting on the fence. I don’t know about you, but for me, this is straight up torture! The longer you sit the more stress you accumulate in your body. Start to bring yourself into…

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Your Ex is a Blessing

“We’re all just walking each other home.” This bittersweet quote by Ram Das is full of profound wisdom.  Consider looking your relationships in this way. Some people walk with you for a while, some stay until the end, while others quickly hop in and hop out, never to be seen again. Anyone else feel inadequate…

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Welcome to my Blog

Greetings my dear Imaginal friend! You have just entered the portal of my mind. May it entertain and inspire you to expand your inner world and bring more harmony, beauty, and adventure to your life. I love to use both sides of my brain. The left side for the logical world of psychology and business,…

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Your Partner is Not Your Therapist

Your partner is not your therapist. They are not your healer, your coach, nor should they be your accountability buddy. Stop trying to make them these things! It will sabotage your connection to try and place them in this role. This lesson has been a hard one for me to learn. When I have been…

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People can be mirrors for our shadow

What does it mean to be a mirror? A mirror gives you a reflection, like pointing out the spinach you had sitting in your teeth. People can be mirrors that help us see our blind spots in behavior, like pointing out how bitchy we are to that one family member. Some people go off into…

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Commitment is Not a Trap

There are countless of people who are afraid of commitment.

“What if I can’t escape?” they wonder.

What if I regret my decision once I am locked in?

The fear is that we will be trapped and not be able to escape the prison of our obligations. This is why so many people avoid committing and following through on a number of goals and dreams. (Wedding vows and new years resolutions are the perfect example.)

Unless you have really committed to something insane or life threatening, the truth is much different then being torturously trapped with no possible escape. If you truly needed to leave something bad enough, you can.

Luckily, in most people’s reality, we are pretty much always free to walk away from any commitment. Even though there may be severe consequences to face like hurt feelings, loss of assets, disappointment, etc. Ultimately, the shackle tied around your ankles is an illusion. It lives in the mind, in the emotions, in fear…not in physical reality.

Consider, perhaps, a completely different perspective to what commitment means.

Commitment as accountability.

Like the cheerleader on the sidelines encouraging you to get back up when you are tired, lost, and ready to give up.

We all too easily give up on our dreams. It’s really fucking hard to stay committed to challenging goals through completion. Many of us have become masters of starting something and stopping half way. We all too easily get distracted by our minds and outside circumstances.

This is why having a public declaration of your commitment can be so powerful. While we have no problem disappointing ourselves, it’s a bit harder to disappoint other people who are rooting and invested in us staying on our path.

It is for this reason why:
people get publicly married in front of their community.
they get coaches
they pay into programs to hold their hand

Staying with it is not easy…but it’s SO worth it. Especially when it comes to your dreams.

What commitment ultimately does is keep that monkey mind from getting lost in the land of distractions and sabotaging your dreams. It will find all sorts of reasons to jump ship. And the truth is we are ultimately free to do so. Yet, choosing to stay on board, honor our word, keep getting back on the horse, and learning through the struggle transforms us into completely different people that have never existed before.

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The Villain in Your Story is a Victim in Theirs

There a dynamic that happens in relationship to people.

We have archetypes that we start to embody,

An Archetypen is like a character we can play. The wizard, the king, the princess, the joker, the shadow darkness, the lovers.

There are many archetypes in humanity. Many of the oracle divinatory tools are based on the interaction of these characters.

Archetypes and states of being are a temporary thing. We move through many archetypes in a day. Some people can flow through many archetypes.

In one day I can embody the lovers as I wake up, the mother as I nurture myself and others, the inner child as I get out in nature and play, the queen as I go off and direct my business, the joker as I create playfulness for my marketing, the high priestess as I interact with my clients, and so on.

These are to be transient states we flow through. Yet the way the ego works is that it gets attached to an identity.
We label ourselves and others with these archetype as if it is a stamp of definition of who we/they are.

This is why so many gurus often fall off of the pedestals that people have placed them in their minds. Gurus are humans with the capasity to embody many archetypes. We simply expect them to be the guru archetype solely. No one is one dimentional. This is why movies with one dimentional characters are not as interesting as more complex characters who are both bad and good.

There are three archetypes in particular that seem to be a pervasive trio in human dynamics.
The villain, the victim, and the hero. These three are made for each other. Anytime there is a victim in the world there is something that is a villain, and something and someone that must save this poor victim.

The problem with this is that they need each other in order to exist.

When one is having an argument, it happens often that people are taking on the villain archetype and placing the other person as the villain.

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“Fine” is a Four Letter Word

if we fast forward to your death bed and i asked you, “how was your life?” would you really want to answer,”fine!”

fuck that!

Fine does not cut it in my book.

My life has been fucking epic. I could die tomorrow and be stoked for what I have had the privilege to experience.

It wasn’t that i have had no shit. We all have our battles.
We all have certain privileges and certain disadvantages.

It has not been easy. But it’s been fucking worth it.

it’s possible to get comfortable standing in shit.

at least I’m not…
.

stop with the at “least i’m not!” It’s keeping you small.

yet there is a time and place for gratitude. and self acceptance and love where you are… Yet don’t get stuck there. Get clear on where you want to be and take the action steps to get there.

Because the struggle to get there is part of what makes your life epic.

so if you’re sitting in a fine luke warm shit pile… and just barring it.. It’s time we get a call.
.

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